Friday, 7 October 2011

I promise that it's not your fault

It's never your fault. Never. I'm sorry for being so emotional lately. I'm afraid of losing you. No, I don't mind if I can't have you for myself. It just that I don't want to see you with any other girl. The feeling, it kills me, you know.

It's hard when I'm just an option to you. And I wasn't second but third. I know I'm suck. I never enough. For you or for anyone. No matter how not important I am to you, but still we're friends right? You know yourself. You shouldn't do what you did. Telling others was a bad idea. I don't know what seems to be the problem now. I'm so emotional and I can't stop but overthinking about everything. From A to Z. I even regret knowing you at the very first day. Things never be this hard if I didn't follow K to meet M and there you are, next to M and staring at me. I know this might sounds cliche' but you had me at the first 'Hi'. I shouldn't regret. You used to make me smiles all day long and even sometimes you just break my dull day. I'm sorry it's my fault because I think you want me as much as I want you.

Oh my god. Things never seems easy for me. Never. H, I never wanted to blame you. It's my fault but the thing is killing me. I wish I didn't care. I wish you were just like them. This whole semester wasn't good for us. Except for the part that I-know-you-and-you-know-me. I miss how things used to be between us. And I know you miss it too because no matter what I've said to you, you still find a way to get us back together. I mean without any special weird stupid feeling. I'm sorry that I'm avoiding you lately. I'm not cool at all. Sorry. I've tried but I can't face you. Not now. Why, why I still care?

I'm sorry readers. I know I sounds so emotional like a dying pig. I just need to talk to him but I can't and I won't. So I let everything out here. I don't have anyone to talk to at this hour like yeaahh it's 4 in the morning. I shall sleep now. Good Night :(

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